Kick scooters are your best chance at scoring a date

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There are many modes of recreational transportation, all with different pros and cons depending on your overall goal. Some are faster, some are cleaner, some are healthier. But the most obviously important quality one should look at when choosing the way they ride comes down to a very simple question:

Which one makes its rider more physically attractive?

Chances are if you’re single you have a bevy of issues, both physically and mentally, that you have no control of. What you do have control of is how you travel. Next to looks, personalty, hygiene, I.Q., political beliefs, religious beliefs, and who your favorite X-Men is, transportation method is a critical part of initial attraction. People in relationships don’t have to worry about this because most of them ride around in mini vans or those creepy two person tandem bicycles. It’s the single people that have to be aware of how they look in motion. Bikes, skateboards and rollerblades all have merit, but in the end if you’re showing up in any of them you will most likely be going home alone. There’s only one device that is sure to get you the right kind of attention: Kick scooters.

Here’s why….

Bicycles

bicycle-funnyWhoa a bike. That’s original. Everyone including your 5 year old sister has a bike. That’s not attention grabbing. Plus bikes are big and become a burden when you get off them. Also, the fact that your sitting on arrival shows your person of interest that you’re rude and lazy. Thanks for mildly pumping your legs but ultimately choosing to meet me slouching like a slob instead of standing upright. It’s like a slap to the face to the millions of years of evolution it took our species to get where we are today. Thanks Darwin.

Skateboards

skateboard-funnyMost people would think this is the best transportation for finding a suitor. Let me burst your bubble. THEY ARE NOT SURFERS. Sure they are the closet thing you will get in your concrete jungle. And for some reason they usually have the longer hair and attitude of what they are doing is way more important than it is. But let’s be honest. Riding a skateboard gives off the impression that you’re injury prone and have the ability to balance on those dangerous waves of solid concrete. Way too easy to fall off in front of your hopeful future lover and will absolutely ruin your chances. Not worth it.

Rollerblades

rollerblade-funny

 

 

Do I really need to explain? Rollerblades are the equivalent to Danny Devito in terms of attractiveness. Unless you’re 12 years old at a middle school skating rink….just don’t.

 

 

 

Kick Scooters

cool-kick-scooterWant to find your next great love? Looking for a date? I would suggest using a kick scooter. Arriving in front of your crush, zooming upright while holding handle bars suggesting you have a grip on reality, and demonstrating a sense of balance without being all “cocky” about it makes kick scooters your newest wing man/woman. They’re fun and charismatic, but never steal attention away from you, only enhance it. When you catch the eye of your target, ask them out for coffee. At that point, fold up your scooter, showing them that not only are your technologically advanced but that you can’t wait to spend time with them. Kick scooter almost does the talking for you.

During my endless hours of research for this topic, only one thing was a constant: Kick scooters are hot. If you have some trouble in the dating department, you might want to look into upping your game with a kick scooter. Just ask Tom Brady….

Tom-Brady-Riding-Scooter-Family-Boston

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ride on love birds, ride on.

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